Season 2 · 2026 · #3 in the standings · lost 1 straight
Chandler
Watch out, Ladies
Formerly ram my derrick in your porta (wks 1-5), ram my derrick in your strange (wk 6)
4-3 L L W W W W L
Watch out, Ladies, then lost to one
4-3 with the most points in the league and the best lineup efficiency, after a 97.72 against Mike with two starters on bye. Third in the table with a 54-23 all-play record.
The story. Chandler (formerly ram my derrick in your strange, now Watch out, Ladies) lost to Mrs Minnesota 107.88 to 97.72, the low score of the week and 33.48 under his average, with James Cook and Jayden Daniels on bye. The four-game winning streak is over. He is 4-3 with 918.38 points, the most in the league by 24.44, and a 54-23 all-play record, tied for the best, which says he should have about 4.91 wins. The roster has outscored its opponents by 109.84 this season.
The problem. Derrick Henry scored 5.9 on an 18.03 projection, his second straight week under 6, Sam LaPorta 2.8, Garrett Wilson 4.6, Spencer Shrader 3.3, the Rams D/ST 1.0. KC Concepcion (23.2) and Makai Lemon (19.7) scored 42.9 on the bench while Wilson and LaPorta scored 7.4 in the lineup. He left 20.20 sitting, the most he has all season, and his optimal lineup of 117.92 would have won by 10.04. That is two should-have-won losses, and the luck rating is -0.91.
What's working. Still the top five: Henry 122.70, Malik Nabers 120.50, Cook 113.60, Wilson 99.40, Luther Burden 97.00, 553.20 between them. Burden scored 23.7 this week, Josh Jacobs 20.1. Lineup efficiency is 94.9 percent, first in the league, even after this week.
What to watch. Week 8 is Kyle, who has the fifth-most points and the worst luck in the league at -1.73, and just scored 133.72 in a loss. Cook and Daniels are back. Chandler averages 12.89 more a week.
Then: 9 Val · 10 Bryan · 11 Lauren · 12 Arjun · 13 Sam O · 14 Chris
Points for
918.38
131.20 a week
Points against
808.54
All-play record
54-23
vs every team, every week
Luck
-0.91
4 wins vs 4.91 expected
Lineup efficiency
94.9%
share of the best possible lineup
Left on bench
49.68
2 perfect lineups
Week by week
The solid bar is what counted. The hatched part is what the best possible lineup would have added. The ink line is the opponent.
Game log
| Wk | Opponent | Score | Optimal | Left | Rank |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Arjunas ram my derrick in your porta | L117.76–146.36 | 117.76 | 0.00 | 5/12 |
| 2 | Sam Oas ram my derrick in your porta | L121.44–126.62 | 131.34 | 9.90 | 3/12 |
| 3 | Chrisas ram my derrick in your porta | W155.16–90.36 | 155.16 | 0.00 | 1/12 |
| 4 | Drewas ram my derrick in your porta | W124.64–92.12 | 138.32 | 13.68 | 5/12 |
| 5 | Patrickas ram my derrick in your porta | W176.56–121.52 | 178.46 | 1.90 | 1/12 |
| 6 | Sam Bas ram my derrick in your strange | W125.10–123.68 | 129.10 | 4.00 | 3/12 |
| 7 | Mike | L97.72–107.88 | 117.92 | 20.20 | 12/12 |
Carrying the team
Most points in the starting lineup
- RBDerrick Henry7 starts122.70
- WRMalik Nabers7 starts120.50
- RBJames Cook III6 starts113.60
- WRGarrett Wilson7 starts99.40
- WRLuther Burden III7 starts97.00
Stuck on the bench
Most points scored from the bench
- WRKC Concepcion62.90
- WRMakai Lemon49.90
- QBDaniel Jones28.34
- RBTyjae Spears27.10
- QBSam Darnold21.62
Under projection
Starters furthest below ESPN's projection
- QBMarcus Mariota5.34 vs 18.52-13.18
- DSTCowboys D/ST-2.00 vs 7.45-9.45
- WRGarrett Wilson99.40 vs 107.78-8.38
Trophy shelf
Weekly honors, good and bad
- WK 1Perfect lineup 0.00 left on the bench
- WK 2Should have won optimal 131.34 vs 126.62
- WK 3Top score 155.16
- WK 3Perfect lineup 0.00 left on the bench
- WK 3Massacre of the week won by 64.80
- WK 5Top score 176.56
- WK 6Game of the week won by 1.42
- WK 7Low score 97.72
- WK 7Should have won optimal 117.92 vs 107.88
Best week
wk 5 · 176.56
Biggest win: by 64.80 over Chris
Worst week
wk 7 · 97.72
Worst loss: by 28.60 to Arjun
Career
2 seasons in The Udder League.
All-time record
12-9
128.65 a week
Titles
0
none yet
Playoff trips
1
2-1 in the playoffs
Best finish
2nd
2025
Head to head, all time
Season 2 · 2026 · 7 games played